I share this story and that of my friends with the intention to promote Father’s Day Celebration and encourage responsible Fathers to keep on keeping on and perhaps boost the morale of the ‘failing’ fathers in discharging their God given responsibilities.
I totally agree with those who may be dismayed, traumatised and unhappy on this day because your dad has passed on or did not experience good fatherly love; I share in your plight. Father’s Day is a celebration honouring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.
Congratulations to Fathers and all Father figures on Father’s Day. Comparatively, Mother’s Day is more popular because mothers are naturally at the frontline in caring, and feeding offspring. This natural responsibility brings an unbreakable bond between mothers and their children.
We cannot fault mothers on this score. but it is our collective responsibility to give Father’s Day, the attention it deserves; create the platform which will enable the world celebrate Fathers- wonderful heroes in our lives. Heroes who’s sweat ‘oils’ our lives, whose sweat gives us good homes to sleep in, whose sweat gives/gave us good education and, on whose shoulders, we stand to see.
Fathers have always been what I call “behind the scene players or actors.” Traditionally, Fathers are wired to “till the soil”, work very hard to bring the produce or money home but at the end of the day, it is mothers who process everything; who cook and put food on our tables. Sometimes in giving gifts or money to their children, some fathers go behind their wives when such presentations are done. You
see Why children tend to love mothers? By the nature of their work, some fathers leave home early in the morning for work just to return late in the evening sometimes just in time to kiss their children good night.
Some of them per their duties are separated from their children for days, months and years! But in their absence, they make sure their wives and children sleep in good houses, drive in good cars to school and never go hungry.
I have a secondary school friend whose dad was a seaman as we used to call it. Duncan Nana Sei Smith, saw his Dad once in two years!” It was always joy and excitement when dad came home” he told me.
He said their dad tried his best to catch up anytime he came home. He spent long hours with them (the children), asking them to share with him their progress at school, their relationship with their teachers, friends, immediate neighbours, he even wanted to find out if their Mum was efficient in taking care of them in his absence and many other issues.
They knew their “absent father” cared for them but it was work that always took him away from them. Duncan Nana Sei Smith told me that he missed his Dad as the youngest of two brothers but his Dad always tried to close the gap when he returned from his trips by spending quality time with them.
This kept him going till he finished Secondary School. As he narrated his experiences to me, I realised he felt his Dad’s “presence in his absence.” That is a silent hero!
I grew up with my grandmother but I also had similar experiences. I was with Dad in Takoradi (Western Region) but was moved to stay with my late grandmother because Dad was being moved to a rural district in the western north corner of the western region where education and infrastructure were virtually non-existent at the time. Dad’s intention was for me to get good education with Grandma in the Eastern Region where I had my nursery to primary education. I re-joined my dad when I
started secondary education. Dad came home not frequently but spent part of his annual leave with us and also visited when there was funeral at the family house. Anytime he visited, it was a moment of joy. He presented to me on most of his visit’s new school uniforms and sandals for school. My Dad’s new school uniform and shoes to me, attracted ‘‘likable’’ and friendly comments from my peers/friends. This had positive impact on me because I always wanted to be in school not to show off but to be counted among the “boys”. The periods he spent with us each time he visited was great because we saw difference in our meals and pocket money to school was increased, school fees paid in advance, moral in the house was heightened. The bond was simply great!
I am happy to share another moving narrative given by Collins, a primary school friend of mine who will run to his mother when he needed items for school and for use in the house; books, school uniforms, Christmas clothes among other stuff. His Mum will smile and direct him to his Dad.
The moving part according to him was where his Dad will bow to his level(height) and ask in a soft baritone voice “yes boy, what can I do for you?” his list will run unending …shoes for school, bag, pen, eraser on and on and on.
The strange thing according to Collins, was that few days after his request, the items will be shown to him or given to him by his Mum. And the Mum always added “when Dad comes go and thank him and remember to study hard eh?”
This is a classic example of what I call “heroes behind the scenes” and this is in line with what Billy Graham once said “a good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” I will put my emphasis on unnoticed!
What is interesting is that Father’s Day was inspired by a single father, William Jackson Smart, who was a twice-married, twice-widowed Civil War veteran who had to raise 14 children all by himself. William’s daughter Sonora, dedicated her life to the creation of Father’s Day in honour of her devoted and selfless Dad.
by Sonora’s account, her Dad, performed brilliantly. “I remember everything about him,” Sonora said many years later to the Spokane Daily Chronicle. “He was both father and mother to me and my brothers and sisters.” Credit to Sonora, she spent 60 years pushing for the official recognition of Father’s Day as a national holiday in the USA and now, the day is marked globally on the third Sunday in June. The first one marked in June,1910 (history.com).
During the heat of the coronavirus outbreak with its consequence lockdown, real Dads and Mums were called to duty across the globe. Schools, colleges and universities as we all know, were closed, some workers worked from home and as a results, children and parents found themselves together when it was not the usual holiday period.
For some hero Dads, it was a good opportunity to bond and catch up with their families; on day three into Ghana’s lockdown, something caught my attention whilst listening to Peace FM morning show; one father sent a revealing text message to the host of the ‘’kokrokoo’’ morning show host Chairman Kwami Sefa kayi, the text reads
In the midst of the crisis, we still count our blessings It’s a long time I paused and reflected and spent quality time with my whole family together.
This is how heroes are made; they say every cloud has a silver lining. As some Dads were making strides, others were crying out loud because living with the family was unbearable. We see the difference between heroes and others?
If fathers are being honoured today, it is what some responsible dads have done in the past and continue to do today.
I know that not every Dad will pass as a responsible father but genuinely some have no job, unable to make ends meet and for that matter have left home, and some are simply refusing to do the needful and have therefore helped to give meaning to the saying “that everyone can be a father but it takes a lot to be a Dad” (Wade Boggs).
If you are a Dad and you are lagging behind, it is a day to have a sober reflection and I pray that you are lifted up by the power of the most high, be resourced materially and spiritually to discharge your God given responsivities as a loving Dad.
All those whose Fathers have passed on including my own dad Asonba Joe Nyarko, we say you are on our minds this day, rest in peace! You are alive in your maker!
In celebrating Father’s Day, I recall the lyrics in Luther Vandross’s song titled Dance with my father The lines go ….and dance with me, …spin me around till I fell asleep. Then up the stairs he would carry me. And I knew for sure I was loved…
On this day, the book of proverbs sums up my intentions clearly “The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.” (Proverbs 23:24). Please say this very loud with me, I have a hero indeed and I call him Dad!!! Let this day be celebrated in honour of fathers alive and dead. Kudos
Daddy…Happy Father’s Day.
